PEPPITO VS THE OMEN
by Soul of Eternal Darkness
Summary: Okay I finally had the energy of pure bordem...And guess what drove me to make this fic...The Omen commercial lol anyways Pepito is out to stop the omen from coming out to theaters...He must battle aginst the dreaded lawyers,some crazy hippies,micheal jac
1. Anti1: Upcoming movie and bdays

Peppito VS. The Omen

OMG! I WANT TO SEE THE OMEN BUT I don't which is weird…Okay this is going to be a bunch of chapters with Pepito…and how he must go up against a well you'll just have to read but he teams up with…The cute and cuddly (Brie: HUGGLES Me: Okay…) Squee, Devi, and…. And…"sparkly eyes" Brie: Am I going to have to do this one? Me: Yes…Please Brie: Okay, everyone's favorite head wound receiving homicidal maniac…"reads card" To kill list: Tom Cruise…umm… Morgan (Me): Oops…Wrong card…hehe.."Shifty eyes" Here… "Hands Brie card" Brie: Will talk about this later…JOHNNY! Morgan: EEEEEEE!"GLOMP"

Disclaimer: I don't own…but I do have JTHM Directors Cut… it all belongs to the big awesome induced Jhonen Vasquez and I'm sorry sir if I couldn't didn't spell it right I forgot how to spell your name…sorry

CHAPTER ONE: THE PREVIEW AND A COMING BIRTHDAY!

It was a wonderful blistering hot heat stroke kind of Saturday and for some unknown reason kids were in school (THANKS TO BUSH!) and for some unknown weird incident involving a bus, squirrel, and a tree Johnny (a.k.a Nny) was substituting coincidentally little Squee and awesomely cool Peppito (am I spelling his name right?) it was last hour and everyone was wondering why the teacher was outside killing some guy with a spork…

Johnny: "walks in covered in blood" Anyway before I was so rudely interrupted…Umm… What was I saying?

Peppito: The implications of human existence…

Nny: Why yes thank you Peppito…As I was saying…EVERYONE IS JUST A THORN IN CUCITITY YOUR PARENTS YOUR GRANDPARENTS! SOON YOU WILL MOST LIKLEY GROW UP AND DESTROY THE PLANET! POWDERED EGGS!

Everyone: OO

Peppito: Hey Squee

Squee: Yes

Peppito: Your friend is cool

Squee: "glup"Sure

(BELL RING'S ARGH!)

After Squee and Peppito got their things and are walking home…

Peppito: Um…Would you like to come over on my birthday?

Squee: Sure

Pepito:Okay (ME:HAPPY MOMENT) It's this Tuesday Well bye see you then

Squee: Kay Oh and lets have a good Summer BYE (Brie: OC! ME: I DON'T CARE!)

LATER AT PEPITO'S…

T.V.: THE OMEN COMERCIAL…

Lady: Damian I'm doing this for you! It's all for you! "Jumps off building because she's an idiot"

Priest guy: I was there the night your son was born…He carries a birthmark a sequence of sixes…

Pepito: Hey! I have a birthmark just like that…but it's not there…It's on my arse

T.V.: THE OMEN THIS TUESDAY TUESDAY TUESDAY! ON 6-6-06

Pepito: HEY I NEVER DID THAT I LOVE MOMMY (Me: HEY IN THIS FIC HE LOVES HIS MOOTIE!)

Mrs. Satan (And her name is Mrs. Satan): What is it dear?

Pepito: Their making a movie about me and they are gonna put stuff in it that I haven't done yet (hint yet) THEY WILL FEEL MY WRATH! (Haha South Park reference)

Senior Diablo (I'm going to put his name just to be nice to Satan): son there are some implications to your plan…like a lawsuit…

Pepito: Can I have some people help me?

Senior Diablo: Fine you can have some friends help just try not to get me sued…

Pepito: MUHAHAHAHA-

Mrs. Satan: Pepito!

Pepito: What?

Mrs. Satan: Tell your father thank you for letting you get to go and destroy a movie from being made.

Pepito: Sorry mommy thank you daddy…Can I

Both: yes

Pepito: "GLEE" MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

End of chapter one

Brie: Well that was…

Morgan: Good! "Hopeful aw how sweet"

Brie: It sucked

Morgan: "Face fault" Well please review people who read this… let me know

If you liked my sucky story..."sniff" Oh and if you don't review..."pulls out spork" lets just say things could get ugly...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHno...


	2. Anti2: Preperations and Allience Forming

Morgan: OMG!

Brie: "gasps"

Morgan: Another chapter!

Brie: mhm

Morgan: Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill-

Brie: Um… Morgan?

Morgan: Kill… Oh hi!

Brie: Okay… Weirdo

Morgan: WHAT WAS THAT!

Brie: Nothing…

Morgan: Better be nothing… Or else "pulls out spork"

Brie: Okay… "Whispers quickly" Why am I the sane friend?

Morgan: What?

Brie: Nothing

Morgan: Kay

Disclaimer: I don't own the following JTHM, SQUEE, and I Feel Sick…Actually there's a lot of other stuff in here but that would ruin the surprise…

Chapter two…Preparations and forming the alliance

THE NEXT DAY…(With Squee)

Squee: "yawn"

Nny: Squee-gee?

Squee: "Wakes up fully" SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Squee's dad: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Squee: Eep…

Nny: Sorry about waking you Squee-gee but where the fuck is the bactine?

Squee: "Gets bactine" Here you go… Are you going to kill me now?

Nny: What?

Squee: Shmee says that you're a bad man that's going to use knifes on me and cut me up into pieces…

Nny: I wouldn't do that… Cause I lo-

"Pepito poofs into Squee's room"

Nny: Grr…

Pepito: Squee I need your help!

Squee: "points finger at himself" me?

Pepito: Yes "looks at Johnny" You can help to…

Nny: With what?

Pepito: With helping me get rid of this movie that's telling lies about me for profit.

Nny: Oh you mean that The Omen? Sure I'll help their probably a bunch of assholes…

Pepito: Now…

Reverend Meat: But Johnny you must…

Nny: How the fuck did you get in here?

Rev.: I've been here…

Nny: No I'm pretty sure I left you at home…

Rev.: They put me here…

Nny: Who?

Rev.: Them… "Shudders"

Shmee: Meat did you take your meds today?

Rev.Meat: Hell no! Biotch!

Everyone: OO

Shmee: Oh no he didn't?

Rev.Meat: Oh yes he did!

Shmee: "attacks Rev.Meat" You BASTARD!

Everyone: Oo

Pepito: Um…

Nny: Holy Shitake Mushroom…

Squee: "wtf? Expression"

"ALL OF A SUDDEN MORGAN AND BRIE POOF INTO THE ROOM"

Morgan: Order in the court!

Brie: Wtf?

Morgan: Stop the fighting! Magic gumballs…

"Morgan and Brie poof away"

Shmee: WTF!

Nny: I don't know

Rev.Meat: Like a bad acid trip "BLOWS UP"

Nny: OH MY GOD! They killed Rev.Meaty!

Pepito: You BASTARDS!

Mr. Eff: I never liked him anyways…

Nny: How the hell did you guys get here?

Mr. Eff: Whoa like a bad acid trip… "BLOWS UP!"

Nny: OH MY GOD! They killed Mr. Eff!

Pepito: You BASTARDS!

Psycho Doughboy: I never liked him anyways…

Shmee: Oh no it's going to happen again…

(Back to reality Morgan: Oh there goes gravity)

Squee: Shmee what are you talking about?

Nny: Squee your bear has been acting messed up for the last hour

Shmee: Oh bad acid trip…

Nny: Whoa What all do you do?

Shmee: I like getting stoned…Acid… A lot of crap …I smoked catnip once

Pepito: Holy Shitake Mushroom Squee your bears messed up…

Squee: I know…

Pepito: Anyways I got some chicks to come help us take care of The Omen people…

Nny: Who are they?

(OUTSIDE)

Devi: Oh hell!

Nny: Uh-oh

Tenna (A/n: Hey that's her name right?): Whoa bad acid trip… "BLOWS UP"

Devi: NOOOOOOOOOO! WHY GOD WHY!

Pepito: Okay we shall ride to Camelot!

Shmee: We need weapons OF MASS DESTRUCTION MUHAHAHAHA!

Everyone: "WTF Expressions"

Nny: I've got weapons with me… Maybe we could immortalize the moment…

Devi: I'll immortalize the moment on you…

(And so the journey begins there shall be mass murders people losing their left shoes that kinda stuff…)

END CHAPTER TWO

Morgan: I did it!

Brie: Mhm

Morgan: So much happiness

Brie: Okay

Morgan: Now you all must review or else suffer the wrath of my Spork…

Brie: Dear god please review people unless you want to die cause she's serious…

Morgan: GOODBYE! Oh and the following people thank you for the reviews

REVIEW TIME!

Moose-muffins!

HyperCosmo

Hotelxcalifornia

Morgan: See you next chapter

Brie: Ciao


	3. Anti3:The Store of Horrors

Morgan: OMG!

Brie: HOW MANY CHAPTERS ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THIS WEEK!

Morgan: Oh quite a few Brie quite a few… You want to know why?

Brie: No not really…

Morgan: Because It's SUMMER VACATION! Vacations all I ever wanted…

Brie: Um…All I ever wanted was a Jewish boyfriend who happens to be twenty-seven and have blonde hair and always wearing a scarf who wears glasses…

Morgan: We love you Cleveland Goodnight! "Passes out because of my insomnia"

Brie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Who will write this fic?

Michel Jackson: I will… Cause I am going to write my heart out…OH! "Does that weird hip type crouch grabbing thing"

"HEAR A GUN CLICK"

Morgan: Ta hell you will…

"BAM"

Brie: MORGAN YOUR BACK!

Morgan: Oh crap! We needed him for this chapter!

Brie: … YOU IDIOT!

Morgan: Wait he's alive I just saw him move…

Brie: Anyways…

DISCLAIMER: I don't own JTHM, SQUEE, and I FEEL SICK YADYADAYADA… And a whole lot of other stuff in this demented Fan Fic written by a Skitsophrinic Insomniac Teen Who is I…

CHAPTER THREE: THE STORE OF HORRORS

Nny: OH DEVI!

Devi: OH NNY!

Nny: I want that one please…

Store Keeper: Um okay… "Hands Nny pack of Cherry Doom"

(Morgan: You all were thinking dirty thoughts sorry but this is only going to have yaoi only)

Pepito: Grr…they don't have any chocolate…

Squee: It's okay Pepito…

Pepito: Grr…

Shmee: Whoa…The colors there everywhere… "Shudders"

Pepito & Squee: "wtf expressions"

Pepito: Dude your bear really needs help…

Squee: Yeah…

Pepito: Damn your sexy…

Squee: Um…

Pepito: "Lunge" OH YEAH!

Squee: "Kisses Pepito" I love you…(Morgan: Told ya)

Devi: "Walks down the Aiel" HOLY HELL!

Squee: Um… It's not what you think!

Devi: Ewwwwwwww!

Nny: What's going on…

Devi: They were (Sadly Devi forgot because suddenly she got short term memory loss for ten seconds thanks to a certain anti-Christ)

Nny: Okay…(And for the next ten minutes Johnny will be in Naraku's giant monkey suit)

Shmee: COLORS! (And Shmee will go get more drugs)

Everyone: (Wtf expressions at the comment I just made and at Shmee for being weird)

Pepito: I'm coming out I want the world to know I want to share a show…

Squee: NO YOU AREN'T STAY IN THAT CLOSET!

Everyone: (wtf expressions)

(ALL OF A SUDDEN MICHEL JACKSON COMES OUT WITH GIANT MOTH WINGS)

Michel Jackson: OW! "Grabs Squee and fly's around the one hundred mile long store"

Pepito & Nny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Squee: WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE KIDNAP SOMEBODY ELSE FOR ONCE! (ANGST)

Michel Jackson: I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world I am plastic it's fantastic…OW! "hip shake thing"

(ALL OF A SUDDEN BRIE AND MORGAN POOF ONTO THE SCENE)

Morgan: HEY! Stop desecrating my song!

Michel Jackson: OH! "Throws Squee all the way across the store"

Squee: DAMN YOU!

Brie: "gasp"

Morgan: YOU BASTARD!

Michel Jackson: OW! "Dances"

Morgan: Oh. Lets do this thing!

Everyone but Brie: O.O

Morgan: Brie! Where's my dancing pole?

Brie: Um… We kinda left it behind…

Morgan: "Goes pale" Where?

Brie: At school…From when me and you pole danced at-

Morgan: I thought we would never speak of that again…

Brie: You're the one who asked…

Morgan: No asked where not what happened…

Michel Jackson: "Claps" Ow!

Morgan: Shut up!

Michel Jackson: "Dance kicks Morgan" How do you like that bitch?

Morgan: Oh He did not?

Brie: I think he did…

Pepito: For once I'm scared…

Nny: Me too…

Devi: "Farts"

Nny: WTF!

Morgan: "Gets up" You bastard who knows is parents… "Punches Michel Jackson"

Michel Jackson: x.x

Morgan: Come on I'm gonna teach you a lesson on never piss me off… "Kicks Michel Jackson"

Michel Jackson: Ow! Your good but can you take this? BUTTERFLY WINGS! "Starts kicking the crap out of Morgan"

Brie: MORGAN HERE! "Throws Morgan crazy potion"

Morgan: What the hell?

Brie: I don't know you're the one who wrote it!

Morgan: Oh well scratch that idea.

Michel Jackson: Not so tough now are you bitch?

Morgan: You are really starting to piss me off…

Michel Jackson: What are you going to do about it? OW! "Clap"

Morgan: "Gun clicks" This "BAM"

Brie: Well that idea sucked…

(Morgan & Brie Poof away)

Nny: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND WHY AM I WEARING A MONKEY SUIT!

Naraku: I'll be taking that "Snatches monkey suit"

Shmee: COLORS THERE EVERYWHERE! AHHHHHHHHHH!

Nny: Now I know what Squee's bear did this time!

Pepito: What?

Nny: Shrooms…

DUNDUNDUNDUN!

Everyone: No anything but that

Devi: Not the dreaded shrooms…

Squee: Okay lets go pay for our stuff…

Nny: Um…

Devi: Nny you didn't do what I think you did…

Shmee: Hello Prancy Little Pony how you do?

Everyone: "WTF EXPRESSIONS Morgan: That's starting to get old…"

Nny: I killed the stores owner…

Pepito: Let's get the hell out of here…

Everyone: Kay

LATER OUTSIDE THE STORE…

Store: "As everyone is walking away BOOM cut to an atomic explosion"

Pepito: that's what you get for not having any chocolate.

And so the adventure continues…

Will Pepito ever get his chocolate?

Tune in next time at PEPITO VS. THE OMEN

Morgan: Finally took all day to think that up…

Brie: Wow Michel Jackson with moth wings…

Morgan: Hey I haven't eaten anything stimulating and I'm already skinny enough as it is!

Brie: True I'm vegetarian

Morgan: Give me food…

Brie: Sadly Morgan I can't poof you any food…

Morgan: Grr…

Brie: Don't forget to review unless you want to die early or late something like that

Morgan: "Pulls out spork" MUHAHAHAHAHAno…

Morgan: It's that time again

Random people who aren't important enough for me to mention their names: REVIWS!

Morgan: Why yes it is and these lovely people get to live one day longer…Here you go

ARIGATO!

Hotelxcalifornia

Nethray Goddess of Hate

Morgan: You all won't be dieing anytime soon

Brie: YAY! I'm not going to die!

Morgan: Well don't forget… "Creepy voice" Review "pulls out spork"

Brie: Ciao! "Locks Morgan in a cage"

Morgan: ARGH! LET ME OUT!

Brie: No! Ciao people now go!


	4. Anti4:Best Buy is Hell

Brie: ACK! Another one

Morgan: Yeppers

Brie: And this time we have a special guest with us…

"Demented Moment"

Morgan: Zacarais he will be in this wonderful chapter and let's just say he should not have turned into a prep…not really he can be whatever he wants…

Brie: He's just creepy as a prep I mean a wigger turned prep.

Morgan: I think it's that girl he met honestly…

Brie: Yeah…

From inside a box: Why do people always discriminate what I wear!

Morgan: No ones listening Zac

Brie: Do you think we should let him out?

Morgan: No

Brie: Wait I'm asking the wrong person

Morgan: What's that supposed to mean?

Brie: Nothing…

Morgan: Well heres the chapter…OH! And sorry I took so long with putting this chapter up…

Brie: She got lazy

Morgan: Yeah I did I'm sorry everyone please forgive me I ALSO SAW THE OMEN! It sucked...

Disclaimer: Me no own… You know this disclaimer thing is really starting to get annoying I mean we wouldn't be writing fan fictions if we owned what we're writing about I mean seriously you crazy people…Wait I'm crazy… AH CRAP!

Chapter 4: On the road again (That's a song...)

Pepito: Are we there yet?

Nny: No

Pepito: Are we there yet?

Nny: No

Pepito: Are we there yet?

Nny: No "Starting to get pissed"

Pepito: Are we-

Nny: NO! YOU LITTLE INSECT!

Pepito: Eep…

(All of a sudden Shmee pounces on Pepito and molests him)

Devi: AH! The bears doing it again!

Nny: What?

Shmee: "Then pounces on Nny and starts humping his leg"

Nny: AH!

Car: "Swerve"

Shmee: Oh momma keeps it coming…

Nny: Get off me you crazy Chihuahua thing…SHIT!

Car: "Crashes into a tree"

Everyone: "Jump out of the car"

Nny: Quick grab the stuff!

Everyone: "Grabs everything"

Car: "BOOM" "Switch to an atomic explosion"

Devi: Great there goes are ride…

Nny: Betsy… "Sniff"

Shmee: SHROOMS!

Nny: Why couldn't you have left that fucked up bear in the car?

Squee: I. Don't. Know. "Sudden realization he still has Shmee"

LATER…

Pepito: Keep walking but she isn't gonna fall keep walking but she isn't gonna fall

Nny: It's plain to see your brains are very small

Pepito: So keep walking but she isn't gonna fall

Everyone: Um…

(ALL OF A SUDDEN)

Morgan and Brie: "POOF!"

Morgan: EEP! They're coming for me!

Brie: Holy Crazy Mexican Carcass!

Morgan: Quick release the Zacaras

Brie: Um… I left it behind…

Morgan: Fine I'll be back "POOF!

Brie: "Whistles a little tune looks at watch"

Nny: Um…

Pepito: Who the hell are you!

Morgan: "POOF!" BACK!

Brie: Good the inhabitants of this world were trying to communicate with me…

Morgan: "WTF expression" Um… Okay

Brie: Now then… "Opens crate"

Zac: Finally air!

Morgan: He's hostile! "SHOCKS ZAC"

Zac: What was that for!

Morgan: I don't know…

Brie: ACK! "Shocks Zac"

Zac: What the hell!

Morgan: So you had a bad day

Brie: You sing a sad song

Zac: SHUT UP!

Morgan: "Whacks Zac across the head with a knife"

Brie: Uh-oh

Morgan: OH SHIT!

Zac: XX

Morgan: oops… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Brie: Morgan you have problems…

Morgan: So I also hear voices in my head…

Brie: Anyways…

Morgan: Time to poof them

Brie: Yes

Morgan: Here go

Everyone but Morgan and Brie: "POOF"

Morgan: You think they'll make it?

Brie: No.

Morgan: Same here

Morgan &Brie: "POOF"

MENWHILE WHERE THE GANG POOFED AT…(OMG I just did a Scooby Doo)

Nny: Oh I feel sick

Devi: COOOOOOOOO DOOO MY chicken is on fire

Everyone: "WTF Expressions"

Squee: Where are we?

Devi: We're in Disneyland!

Squee: Um…

Pepito: NOOOOO!

Everyone: "Looks at Pepito"

Pepito: This is like the hell for demons!

Shmee: You are one messed up cracker…

Nny: Look who's talking.

Devi: I LOVE YOU CRAZY LITTLE NOISE MAKING MACHINE!

Nny: "WTF Expression Morgan: I really need to stop using that"

Pepito: AHHHHH!

Shmee: SHROOMS!

Squee and Nny: um...

Pepito: I'm afraid we are in-

Morgan: Will we ever find out where they are? Do you even know why I stopped this very second? BECAUSE Brie you do the wonderful news thing I can't spell!

Brie: IT'S TIME TO SEE WHAT NAILBUNNY, REV. MEAT, AND HE DOUGHBOYS ARE DOING IN! The adventures of Shmee when he gets wasted or worse because Morgan's filling up space because Morgan got bored...

Morgan: Hey

Brie: Anyways...

Shmee: Hmm... I need a job...Let's get high "Lights a joint"

Nail bunny: Whoa dude I'm all colorful

Shmee: Eh I think I had shrooms again

Nail bunny: Wow lets all explode

Shmee: Lets not crazy colorful rabbit thing of nightmares

Mr.Eff: I live in a giant bucket filled with sugary goodness

Shmee: AHHHHHH!

Psycho D-Boy: The hills are alive willis

Shmee: DEAR GOD NOOOOOO!

Morgan: And back to our regular program...

Pepito: We are in Best Buy

Everyone (except for Shmee who is having the previous adventure from just a few seconds ago): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Squee (he's thinking this): Why me why do I have to be stuck with a homicidal maniac a girl who's scared of said maniac a demon child of hell and a Drug addict bear who's so messed up he could explode...

Nny: I say we split up and see what happens Squee will come with me

Pepito: Nooooo! Don't leave me

$&&&&&&$$$$$#$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Morgan: There's that chapter sorry I took so long I just got really lazy I mean this is only Part one to The circuit city hell

Brie: You lazy bitch

Morgan: That wasn't very nice...

Brie: I'm sorry

Morgan: It's good

Brie: Mmk

Morgan: OH and you wonderful reviewers can give me ideas on The Adventures Of Shmee And His Drug Induced Type Things! That's what that one paragraph was it's just to fill up space when I get writers block and just type random things down on Shmee I might even make chapters where it's only Shmee...Depends

Well BYE THEN

Brie: Ciao

BOTH: REVIEW OR WE'LL KILL YOU!


End file.
